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5 Great Things about Being a Tired, Tired Mum

Posted in Humour

5 Great Things about Being a Tired, Tired Mum The tired, tired days aren’t over. I’m still a tired, tired Mum. Although my baby occasionally sleeps, she makes up for this by running around furiously all day like a trouble-seeking missile. So, if I ever had the time to work it out, I would probably find that my overall energy expenditure is much higher than the little bit of extra sleep I get makes up for. Don’t worry folks, I am doing my best to redress the balance using copious quantities of chocolate. Maybe…

Read more: 5 Great Things about Being a Tired, Tired Mum

4 Perfectly Legal Solutions to Childhood Boredom!

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4 Perfectly Legal Solutions to Childhood Boredom!
Happy New Year!  It’s the time when adults make resolutions to improve our physical and mental health, and children do their best to drive us to drink.  They’re bored.  It’s days and days since they were showered with new toys and brought to parties and pantos, yet school is still out.  Poor lambs have absolutely nothing to do.  They are understandably out of their little minds with boredom.  And boredom is the root of all evil.  Bored children are a threat to life…

Read more: 4 Perfectly Legal Solutions to Childhood Boredom!

My Baby’s First Christmas!

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My Baby’s First Christmas!
I had a long, slow road to motherhood, so by the time my son’s first real Christmas rolled around I thought I was ready.  (Rule number one: You are never ready as a parent.  You might be ready for something, but your child will have something totally different up his sleeve.)  I confess, I’d been stockpiling adorable baby toys for years.  I hardly needed to do any shopping.  See why I thought I was ready?  Here are just a few of the ways my one year old son…

Read more: My Baby’s First Christmas!

20 Things your Child Dreams of You Saying This Christmas

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20 Things your Child Dreams of You Saying This Christmas
Do you dream of someone telling you to put your feet up, that everything is taken care of, Christmas is sorted, the presents are wrapped, the food is beautiful, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful…? What about your kids – what would they most like to hear you say during this most festive (but not restive) of seasons?

1. “Let’s buy you some toys now just to see you through until Santa comes!”

All the Christmas advertising, combined with…

Read more: 20 Things your Child Dreams of You Saying This Christmas

The 8 Things All Parents Do When Christmas Shopping for Kids!

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The 8 Things All Parents Do When Christmas Shopping for Kids!
How many of these top ten Christmas Shopping clichés can you tick off? It doesn’t matter how many kids you have to buy for. It doesn’t matter whether you have already done all your shopping and it is all sitting ready for the advent calendar to be polished off or whether you are the last-minute type. Every parent will recognise at least half of the things on this list. If you can go shopping for toys without doing any of these things, we need to hear from you, you…

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4 Ways Grandmothers Torment You at Christmas!

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4 Ways Grandmothers Torment You at Christmas!
Lost in the miracle of bringing new life into the world is the miracle of what happens when people become grandparents.  Science can explain the many complicated changes that happen to a woman’s body with pregnancy and childbirth, but research has yet to discover exactly what happens to the new mother’s mother.  Possibly this is because researchers are afraid to ask.  So we don’t know if it is shift in brain chemistry or just plain old magic. But if you are a new…

Read more: 4 Ways Grandmothers Torment You at Christmas!

5 Annoying Types of People You’ll Run Into During Your Pregnancy

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5 Annoying Types of People You’ll Run Into During Your Pregnancy
Once you become pregnant, everything changes. It’s not when you graduate, get married or actually have the baby, but the exact moment you start to tell or start to show – you’ll notice the behaviour of people around you shift completely. This applies both to the ones you know, and the ones that you meet on the street, because, I’m sorry to tell you, people will look less into your eyes and more towards your belly. Some will feel like they need to talk to you. And…

Read more: 5 Annoying Types of People You’ll Run Into During Your Pregnancy

6 Signs You Might Need a Parent’s Night Out!

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6 Signs You Might Need a Parent’s Night Out!
It’s official – you’ve become the most boring person in the world. All you do is work, clean your house, cook and spend time with your child. If you’re like most parents, you love your child more than anyone else in the world. But sometimes, you need some adult time that doesn’t involve scrubbing the shower or mind-numbingly boring conversations in the lunch room at work. Sometimes you want to catch a glimpse of the person you used to be before you had kids – the…

Read more: 6 Signs You Might Need a Parent’s Night Out!

15 Excuses My Kids Give Me For Not Eating!

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15 Excuses My Kids Give Me For Not Eating!
Meal time in any house with a small child can be quite a spectacle. If it’s not sweets, cheese, or seen eaten by another sibling then it’s not going to be easy to get past their lips. How many times have you heard, “But I don’t like that” when they were just eating that very same meal the week before? We know. Anything to get out of a (healthy) meal. Guess they figure if they try it once that covers them for life (wouldn’t that be nice). But kids love to protest.…

Read more: 15 Excuses My Kids Give Me For Not Eating!

You’ve Got A Sick Child At Home? Here Are 7 Things That Are Bound to Happen!

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You’ve Got A Sick Child At Home? Here Are 7 Things That Are Bound to Happen!
There are some things that you just can’t change. Things will fall down, seasons will change, super hero movies will keep being released. The world operates in a series of natural laws, and everything in life has its own set of laws. Like kids. Worse, like sick kids. There are some things that, once your little one gets sick, you can be sure are going to happen, no matter what you do or when you do it.

1.     Everyone Will Now Get Sick

Your whole household is…

Read more: You’ve Got A Sick Child At Home? Here Are 7 Things That Are Bound to Happen!

Have A Baby? Congratulations! Here Are 6 Things That Will Now Become Impossible For You!

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Have A Baby? Congratulations! Here Are 6 Things That Will Now Become Impossible For You!
Remember the Sunday mornings when you’d roll out of bed no earlier than 10am, cook up a delicious breakfast and just do whatever you fancied for the rest of the day? Ah yes, you are remembering now aren’t you? There were no screaming children demanding the cartoons be put on or waking you up to point out they have yet again ‘had an accident’ in their beds. Kids are wonderful of course, they bring more love and joy to your life than you could have previously…

Read more: Have A Baby? Congratulations! Here Are 6 Things That Will Now Become Impossible For You!

9 Months Pregnant? Congratulations! Here’s 9 Things Nobody Told You About The Third Trimester!

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9 Months Pregnant? Congratulations! Here’s 9 Things Nobody Told You About The Third Trimester!
There’s a lot of books and a whole lot of talk about being pregnant. You hear a lot about conception, and you here SO MUCH about what to expect when you’ve given birth, but there’s a part of having a baby that you usually don’t hear too much about. That’s being nine months pregnant. Everyone skips over that to birth and having a baby around the house, but even though it doesn’t last very long, the, “I’m nine months pregnant” stage feels like it last YEARS, and…

Read more: 9 Months Pregnant? Congratulations! Here’s 9 Things Nobody Told You About The Third Trimester!

10 Things My Kids Refuse To Believe!

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10 Things My Kids Refuse To Believe! Today’s world is very different than the one that we all grew up in. Kids born today don’t remember what landline phones are. They’ve never had to experience the horrors of rewinding a movie, and most of them don’t even know what books look like. Alright, that last one might have gone a little bit too far, but you get my point. When I explain my childhood to my own kids, I might as well be reading them a fairytale about some fantasy world. Here are some of the…

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10 Things Mums of Girls Have To Do

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10 Things Mums of Girls Have To Do Trust me on this. The experience of parenting, whether you are going to have a son or a girl, is going to be beautiful. Don’t let others scare you, demotivate you or just tell you otherwise. You are going to be a great parent for your child. But, there are some important things a parent of a boy or a girl simply must do. Those might be hard, funny at times, but, at the end of the day, crucial for the creation of their personality. As a parent-to-be of a girl, these…

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14 First World Problems My Toddler Has!

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14 First World Problems My Toddler Has! Kids are great aren’t they? They give you endless amounts of joy and you often sit and wonder what your life would be without them. That’s on a good day, and I say ‘a’ because the days they are a blessing are singular, and happen maybe once, max twice a week, and it’s usually when they’re asleep. The truth is kids can be real jerks, in nappies, when they’re actually happy to wear them and not pee on your furniture or on the pet cat. As an aside, I now know why cats…

Read more: 14 First World Problems My Toddler Has!

6 Ways My Toddler is the Boss of Me

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6 Ways My Toddler is the Boss of Me
I remember when I couldn’t wait to be an adult. I would make the rules; eat when I want (& what I wanted), dress how I choose, come and go as I pleased and basically do exactly what I wanted to do all of the time. And while my twenties did sort of live up to this expectation in many ways, once my first child turned two the tide turned. And in a big way! As any mum of a toddler knows, you’re not really in charge of anything anymore. They are. And although I…

Read more: 6 Ways My Toddler is the Boss of Me

Things That Only Make Sense to a 5-Year-Old

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Things That Only Make Sense to a 5-Year-Old
Being 5 is a tricky time. You want to be independent, but you also want your Mummy or Daddy. You have lots of sensible knowledge that you are very proud of, but you also can’t quite shake off some fairly silly ideas. If you have a 5-year-old, remember being a five-year-old, you know one that belongs to someone else, you had a 5-year-old once but swapped it for an older, wiser 6-year-old… even if you have a teenager who regularly behaves like a 5-year-old, how many…

Read more: Things That Only Make Sense to a 5-Year-Old

10 Reasons Why New Mums are So Tired!

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10 Reasons Why New Mums are So Tired!
Remember being a teenager and thinking you were tired? I can remember coming home from school, plopping down on the sofa and falling fast asleep…I was pooped, wiped out and couldn’t imagine not sleeping right then and there. Then came my twenties…. I’d go to work (for what seemed like an excruciating 8 hours) and again HAVE to take a nap before going out to the pub or making dinner.  I couldn’t have imagined being any more tired. Now I know better…. When you’re a…

Read more: 10 Reasons Why New Mums are So Tired!

7 Things You Wish You Had Been Told Before Becoming a Parent

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7 Things You Wish You Had Been Told Before Becoming a Parent I’m not sure if I was lucky with this but I didn't get any advice before becoming a mum. You see we adopted and so I missed the bulging belly part that seems to give people the right to rub it, as if instead of a baby I have a genie growing inside me, and pass on unsolicited advice. Our first baby arrived with about three weeks’ notice and our second, with five days! I went from footloose and fancy free to a new mum in record-breaking time. So I got no advice.…

Read more: 7 Things You Wish You Had Been Told Before Becoming a Parent

The Secret Benefits of Hosting a Play Date!

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The Secret Benefits of Hosting a Play Date!  Hosting a play date doesn’t sound like a good idea at first.  Someone is going to dump their child at your house and escape while their little darling destroys whatever your child missed.  Who knows what strange and disturbing pastimes this little one has?  Will you find strange snot wiped on the furniture?  Will your child begin to eff and blind like a proverbial sailor?  And what will this child report back to his or her parents about you and your home?…

Read more: The Secret Benefits of Hosting a Play Date!

What If Babies Could Text?

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What If Babies Could Text? What text message do you send or receive most? For me, it’s probably something like, “Running late, be there soon! Sorry xx”. A quick glance through my messages and I see the same old things pop up again and again… I have a friend I text to rant about whatever is annoying me, a friend I am always trying to arrange a coffee with but it never seems to happen (I’m busy, she is busy, last minute disasters keep happening), my Mum who gets a running commentary of what…

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How I Plan to Get Revenge on my Kids!

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How I Plan to Get Revenge on my Kids! I try to choose my battles carefully with my kids, otherwise I would be an endlessly screaming ball of fury. I try to be patient; remember they are young, they are only children, they are growing so fast and I adore them. But… when it gets tough and I am about to explode, I allow myself a little bit of time to fantasise about how sweet my revenge will be when they are grown up – you know, just to help them realise and appreciate more fully how much more patient I…

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20 Most Common Techniques for Putting Off Bedtime

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20 Most Common Techniques for Putting Off Bedtime  When evening rolls around and you set in motion the Bedtime Routine, that series of carefully ordered events that is supposed to guarantee you a peaceful night, do you look forward to a few hours of me-time or do you inwardly wonder which ingenious technique will win your kids a few precious extra minutes out of bed? I remember having a fairly good arsenal of techniques for putting off bedtime and my own kids are giving me a run for my money. How many of these…

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The 5 Childhood Punishments I Long for Now

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The 5 Childhood Punishments I Long for Now  When my little angels are occasionally less than perfect (daily), I reluctantly discipline them in the best way I know how; I make them have time out so they can rethink their behaviour or I withdraw certain privileges from them so that they learn to value their own good behaviour. Every now and then I roar at them like a madwoman and then tearfully threaten my bewildered husband with running away. The first two you can find in any of the thousands of parenting…

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Why Parents Need a Sense of Humour!

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Why Parents Need a Sense of Humour!
Before you decide to have a child, I thoroughly believe you should make sure your sense of humour is intact and functioning well. There are hundreds of experiences you will encounter as a parent when you literally have to laugh, or you’ll cry. Being able to laugh before you get angry or sink into despair or run for the hills, is one of the skills that is invaluable for parents, but its seriously underappreciated. People tell you that you need to be patient, that…

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How Not to Name Your Baby…

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How Not to Name Your Baby…
Names come and go in trends. There are popular names and trends this year that few people will consider choosing in 5 or 6 years down the line. There are tried and tested ways of coming up with a name, and then there are ways of coming up with a name that are just… ill-advised. I hesitate to say wrong. After all, it’s a personal thing – name your baby whatever you like! However, there are some techniques that prospective parents have used to come up with a name…

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7 Parenting Milestones No One Tells You About

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7 Parenting Milestones No One Tells You About
New parents are notorious for obsessing about milestones. Experienced parents are usually great about reassuring new parents that children develop at their own pace.  In the long run, it isn’t important exactly what their first word is or when they took their first steps.  It’s important that we savour the joy when our babies hit new milestones… assuming they are the popular, much discussed milestones such as sitting up unassisted, rolling over, walking and…

Read more: 7 Parenting Milestones No One Tells You About

You Can't Give Your Baby That Name!

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You Can't Give Your Baby That Name!
Everyone has an opinion on what you should or shouldn’t name your baby. If you choose a family name, there will be someone who feels snubbed in some way. If you choose a traditional name, there will be someone who says it isn’t very original. If you choose an unusual name, there will be someone feeling sorry for the poor child. Even the most crowd-pleasing of names is sure to remind someone of the boy who used to flick boogers at them in primary school. You can…

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7 Stupid Things Older Mums Are Tired of Hearing

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7 Stupid Things Older Mums Are Tired of Hearing
It hits the headlines on a regular basis – a woman in her late 40s or even in her 50s is expecting a child! Hold the front page! Even women in their 30s get criticized or interrogated about their pregnancies. While it may seem like older mums just cannot win when it comes to people sticking their noses into their business, it happens to young mums too, just like it happens when you aren’t married, or when you already have 6 kids and are expecting the 7th. Whatever…

Read more: 7 Stupid Things Older Mums Are Tired of Hearing

The Real “Ready for Parenthood” Test

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The Real “Ready for Parenthood” Test Thinking of having children? Here is our handy (but not quite serious) test that will help you make one of the biggest decisions in your life. Yep, there are plenty of these tests out there – the serious sensible ones that ask you about your finances, your home situation, your relationship… but this one will get to the nitty gritty – can you handle finding toast in your shoes? Having to stop every 10 minutes of a long journey for a pee that never really happens? Do…

Read more: The Real “Ready for Parenthood” Test

9 Things that are Distant Memories for Mums

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9 Things that are Distant Memories for Mums  A hot cuppa, a bra that doesn’t give you four boobs, a lie-in… there are lots of things that become distant memories when you become a mother… 1. A Bra that Fits From the moment I found out I was pregnant, my boobs rebelled. First of all they were sore, so every time I announced to a new person that I was expecting I had to brace myself for the inevitable hug. Then they grew massively so that my normal bras gave me the ever-so-sexy four-boobed look. Next came the…

Read more: 9 Things that are Distant Memories for Mums

Preparing for that All Important Play Date!

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Preparing for that All Important Play Date!
One day your little one is satisfied with one or two social outings a week to play groups or baby yoga or astrophysics lessons, and the next thing you know it’s not enough.  Sadly, few of us are lucky enough to raise reclusive children and if you want to develop parent friends who can mind your darling on short notice in the event you do have a nervous breakdown, you’ll need to start hosting and attending play dates.  Of course, you need to do it right or you’ll…

Read more: Preparing for that All Important Play Date!

Fun & Games for Summer!

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Fun & Games for Summer! The days have gotten longer and longer, and the school year is at an end. No doubt parents of little ones are now looking forward to spending lazy days together splashing in wading pools and making daisy chains, playing football and riding bikes.  This is Ireland.  If you get a few scattered hours of sticking soggy daisies together, you’ll be lucky.  The children are more likely to be splashing in puddles than wading pools.  Hours and hours of their time will be…

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3 Ways Pets Are Like Parenting

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3 Ways Pets Are Like Parenting
Some people really get their knickers in a twist when furbabies and human babies are compared.  Now, if we have to tell you they aren’t the same, you might need to hit the board books yourself for quick review.  Doggy and kitty are not the same as baby.  Once we’re all clear on that, we can move on to the ways that having pets does help prepare you for having children.  But nothing really prepares you.  You can do through all kinds of military training, but…

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Awesome Teacher Thank You Gifts

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Awesome Teacher Thank You Gifts
It’s that time of year! Soon the other, more together parents will arrive at the school gates with thoughtful cards and gifts they purchased more than 20 minutes before the school day began. Don’t be caught out this year! The time for elaborate crafts is well past. Sure, you could have your child make a card or pick one up at the shop, but don’t you think most teachers have enough recycling to deal with? In fairness, the amount of paper coming home lately might…

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"Just You Wait...." The Phrase That Put Fear Into Kids Everywhere!

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Revenge, they say, is a dish best served cold, and nowhere is this more true than in parenting.  Consider the enduring popularity of the phrase “just you wait” among parents.  The generation that is now grandparents often heard the threat “just you wait until your father gets home”.  Many of us now parenting have vivid memories of being out in public with our mothers and having our misdeeds met with a vicelike grip on our shoulder and the quietly hissed words…

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Cake-tastrophes Do Not Ruin Your Child’s Birthday

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Cake-tastrophes Do Not Ruin Your Child’s Birthday
Children’s birthdays are basically your annual review as a parent.  It’s a special time when you invite your child’s friend’s parents to judge your parenting skills and to get feedback from your little guests about how much you are failing as a parent and human being. The birthday cake is not just a delicious tradition; it’s a visual measure of your worth as a parent. But the good news is that your child will survive a cake catastrophe relatively unscathed. It’s…

Read more: Cake-tastrophes Do Not Ruin Your Child’s Birthday

How to Spot Parenting Busybodies!

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How to Spot Parenting Busybodies!
Pretty much everyone goes into parenting understanding it will have challenges.  We know our patience will be tested to the limit, and we will struggle to keep our cool at times.  What we don’t realise in advance is that the people who push us to our limits, the ones we’d really like to introduce to the business end of a wooden spoon, are not our darling children at all.  It’s those people who are so overflowing with wisdom, they can’t help but share it.  If you…

Read more: How to Spot Parenting Busybodies!

Which of these Dream Inventions for Parents Would You Most Like?

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Which of these Dream Inventions for Parents Would You Most Like?
Do you dream of self-cleaning everything, an end to Lego everywhere, self-driving buggies and self-tying laces? If we can travel into space, search for dark matter, uncover evidence of things that happened thousands of years ago, how come we cannot use our human ingenuity to create genuine labour-saving devices (or even just a stain remover that takes tomato-based babyfood out of a white baby-grow without requiring more time, effort and money than it took to make…

Read more: Which of these Dream Inventions for Parents Would You Most Like?

6 Things Young Mums Are Tired of Hearing

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6 Things Young Mums Are Tired of Hearing When a younger than average woman gets pregnant, some people love to judge. In fact, you only have to look like you might be younger than average to win a raised eyebrow or catty comment from someone who, for reasons unknown, feels superior. Young mothers get a bad rap. Sure, some young mothers are crap. But so are some average aged mothers, so are some older mums; there are some properly rubbish grannies out there too. Equally, the most immature, self-obsessed…

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5 People all Parents Know (Who need to mind their own business!)

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5 People all Parents Know (Who need to mind their own business!)
We all meet these people – those stock characters from everyday life who seem to be placed into just the right situation to make the whole parenting thing just that much more difficult. While I rely on my friends and family and I constantly encounter amazing people who inspire and uplift me… from other parents to random strangers, sometimes it feels like my life is populated with people who need to mind their own flipping business.

1.   The Unasked-for Advice…

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Social Survival Tips for Parents - Braving the Parent & Toddler Group!

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Social Survival Tips for Parents - Braving the Parent & Toddler Group!
A time will come when after blissfully cocooning with your baby, it is time to think of your child’s social development. Happily, this tends to coincide with the time that you yourself must go out and speak to other adults in a context other than the grocery store and the paediatrician’s office before you start conversing with furniture and cartoon characters. This is why toddler play groups exist.  You should be warned, however, that is more complicated than mere…

Read more: Social Survival Tips for Parents - Braving the Parent & Toddler Group!

Weird, Disgusting Things I Thought I'd Never Do - Before I Became A Parent

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Weird, Disgusting Things I Thought I'd Never Do - Before I Became A Parent
I remember having a confidence wobble as a child and my mother telling me that over the course of my life I would do things that I could never believe possible. She was right, I have done things that my younger self wouldn’t have believed and it is inspiring to think that in the future I may push past my comfort zone again and surprise myself. However, what my mother didn’t tell me was that so many of those unbelievable things would be the things that I find myself…

Read more: Weird, Disgusting Things I Thought I'd Never Do - Before I Became A Parent

8 Signs Your Toddler is a Teenager-in-Training

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8 Signs Your Toddler is a Teenager-in-Training
Did you know that your beautiful little toddler is actually a teenager in training? There are lots of parallels between kids who are 3 and kids who are 13. It may be nature’s way of training us up, but it does seem mean to lull us into a false sense of security as they grow up – just as you get the hang of managing a baby, they turn into an unpredictable toddler tornado, then when you feel like you might just have tamed them, you find yourself sharing your home…

Read more: 8 Signs Your Toddler is a Teenager-in-Training

Blind bags? Play-doh eggs? Unboxing Videos?....What the?!?!?

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Blind bags? Play-doh eggs? Unboxing Videos?....What the?!?!? The day we got connected to the internet felt like all my Christmases had come at once. My parents were interested, they used the computer but they didn’t understand how my siblings and I could be so obsessed with it and what it could do. Oh, the wasted hours spent exploring the wonders of MS Paint! As a parent, I thought I would totally get whatever my children were into and to a certain extent I have – I can completely embrace the ton of Lego we now own, I’m…

Read more: Blind bags? Play-doh eggs? Unboxing Videos?....What the?!?!?

10 Things that Parents Buy ALL THE TIME!

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10 Things that Parents Buy ALL THE TIME!
If I had known how much stuff I would buy endlessly for my children, I would have started stockpiling pencils and socks instead of saving for a deposit for a house. You only have to look at the stash of odd socks, the 3 month old shoes that are already scuffed or the awkward lurch of my son when the only pants he can find are two years too small. I’m starting to consider setting up a regular order with my local supermarket so that every month they deliver a van…

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Why Being a Grandparent Rocks!

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Why Being a Grandparent Rocks!
Never mind the fact that hearing what sounds like your own mother’s voice when you speak must be a fairly scary milestone to reach (I frequently tell my kids that “we’ll see” every time they ask me for something, despite this very phrase feeling like most unjust of responses to my own queries as a child). Never mind the fact that as a grandparent you are expected to know all the answers to every parenting woe without ever actually being seen to offer advice or…

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5 Ways Being a New Parent Is Like Being a Drunk Young Person!

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5 Ways Being a New Parent Is Like Being a Drunk Young Person!
Once you’ve gotten through the first weeks of parenthood and the initial shock has worn off, a strange sense of déjà vu might overcome you from time to time.  Everything is changed, alright, but yet… certain scenarios seem oddly familiar.  There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.  Becoming a parent is a new milestone in life.  You’re a beginner, an amateur yet to learn how to deal with certain embarrassing but inevitable experiences.  You’ve been…

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Safety Warnings New Parents Should Get… But Don’t

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Safety Warnings New Parents Should Get… But Don’t
When your baby arrives and you hold that sweet little being in your arms, you probably felt overwhelmingly protective. Newborns are so tiny and fragile and helpless!  Before and after baby’s arrival, you will be bombarded by warnings of all the various dangers that await your innocent, delicate babe, but what people won’t tell you until after you learn the hard way is that your precious little baby will soon become a danger to you. Don’t be fooled.  Childbirth is…

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Very Personal Things People Sometimes Say About Your Family Life!

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Very Personal Things People Sometimes Say About Your Family Life! Whether you have 6 kids or just the one, whether you are married or single, whatever choices you have made, you can be sure of one thing; people will always be willing to comment, judge and ask nosey questions about your life, your motivations and your plans for the future. If you feel bad about it, then the only reassurance is to be aware that no matter who you are or what your life looks like, people will always have something to say… When You Are Single When you…

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6 Things I Learned from Being a “Bad” Mummy

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6 Things I Learned from Being a “Bad” Mummy I’m not a perfect mummy and I have to constantly remind myself that the mummy next to me isn’t perfect either. There are so many ways in which I feel I have failed my children, so I have to carefully weigh it all up and balance them against the ways in which I have won. But is “winning” and “losing” really all it’s cracked up to be? After all, there are no rules. People will try to tell you what to do and what not to do. They will tell you tales of other mummies…

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How Many of These Sneaky Parenting Shortcuts are you Guilty of?

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How Many of These Sneaky Parenting Shortcuts are you Guilty of?
Every parent takes the odd shortcut to getting things done now and then; we are all guilty of letting the little one watch TV for longer than we should so we can get the dinner in the oven or handing over a mobile phone to mesmerise them on a long journey. However, sometimes saving our sanity means a little trickery, cheating or subterfuge is necessary. How many of these sneaky parenting shortcuts are you guilty of? What are your best “creative parenting…

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5 Strange Things People Say When You Breastfeed

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5 Strange Things People Say When You Breastfeed 1. The word “discreet” When you need to feed your baby, you need to feed your baby. Baby’s hunger is just as real in the middle of a grocery shop, at a restaurant or in the park as it is in the privacy of your own home. One of the most common words people say to me when the topic of public feeding arises is “discreet”. Like, “It doesn’t bother me when women breastfeed in a restaurant – as long as it is discreet” or, “It’s great that you are so discreet when you…

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6 Times when Mothers Need to Smile and Nod (and some where you really shouldn’t!)

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6 Times when Mothers Need to Smile and Nod (and some where you really shouldn’t!) When you become a mother, it sometimes feels like you are suddenly entitled to everyone else’s opinion. Arguing is pointless, ignoring them only encourages more advice. The best way to deal with certain situations where there is no chance of winning the argument (even if you don’t intend to start one), is to smile and nod. It’s a simple formula and it often works. However, the smile-and-nod technique should only be used when what you are being told is harmless, the…

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10 Things People Say About Getting Kids to Sleep

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10 Things People Say About Getting Kids to Sleep by Arlene Copeland When your kids don’t (or won’t) sleep, people are full of advice that we, as sleep-deprived parents, desperately cling to. At one point, if someone had told me that dancing naked through the streets would have somehow made my kids sleep, I’d have been out there terrorizing the locals and damaging the tourist industry before you could say ‘public indecency’. Some of the advice we got was sensible, some was weird, some worked and some didn’t, but…

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Act Like A Toddler to gain Instant Happiness!

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Act Like A Toddler to gain Instant Happiness! by Arlene Copeland Any child development expert will tell you that being a toddler isn’t easy; you are developing at a rapid rate, trying to make sense of the world around you and trying to push boundaries and experiment with your new-found independence… however, ask any parent and they will tell you that there are some aspects of being a toddler that we could all try for a guaranteed instant boost of that feel-good factor. If you are feeling down and need a…

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6 Rules for Nights Out - When You Are a Parent!

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6 Rules for Nights Out - When You Are a Parent! by Arlene Copeland Before you have children, nights out don’t need to have rules. However, when you have children, there are a few rules you need to follow for your own protection and the protection of those around you… Getting ready Before children – take as long as you like to get ready, spend the day pampering yourself and get dressed whenever you like. After children – makeup becomes suddenly more important, concealer for dark circles is suddenly the most…

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Want to know if someone has kids? - Their car will give it away!

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Want to know if someone has kids? - Their car will give it away! by Arlene Copeland Everything changes when you have a child, including the contents, condition (and aroma) of your vehicle… have you managed to stop the spread of plastic toys, crumbly snacks and fingerprints before it gets to your car, or is your car an extension of the colourful cluttered cacophony of childhood? Check the Fuel Gauge Savvy parents know that the day they don’t top up with fuel will be followed by the night when they really need to go somewhere.…

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7 Things Kids Don’t Know we are Doing

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7 Things Kids Don’t Know we are Doing If you have ever sneaked some vegetables into your child’s meal (even though you know that getting them to eat it willingly is just as important as the nutritional value), vacuumed up a stray piece of Lego when they aren’t looking (even though you regularly complain about the price of it) or made up a small fib to make life easier (even though you firmly believe that honesty is the best policy and intend to bring your children up as honest, reliable, conscientious…

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7 Parenting Moments When It's Ok to Swear

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7 Parenting Moments When It's Ok to Swear by Arlene Copeland Your child’s sponge-like brain and rapidly expanding vocabulary means they only require hearing a word once before it becomes their new party trick. So, it stands to reason that we refrain from out-and-out swearing in front of them. However, even the most balanced of parents, given a full night’s sleep and the patience of a saint, will sometimes slip up. Instead of spending your pregnancy thinking about baby names, it would be a good idea to…

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10 Things Little Ones Just Won't Do

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10 Things Little Ones Just Won't Do No matter how hard you try, there are some things babies just won't do! 1.React Appropriately to Strangers  Why is it that your gorgeous precious little baby absolutely loves the creepy guy at the bus stop but roars in terror at the kind old lady smiling at him in the shop? He coos and chats at that girl you went to school with and never liked, but introduce him to your boss and he goes totally mental and starts screaming and vomiting. Socially, babies make really…

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10 Shortcuts that it's OK for Mums to Take

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10 Shortcuts that it's OK for Mums to Take by Arlene Copeland We’re totally exhausted. Last night, we put the kids in front of the TV, got a takeaway and instead of washing the school jumper with the smear of green paint (I’m assuming it was paint) we scrubbed it with a baby wipe until it was almost gone and then put it on the radiator to dry overnight, carefully arranged so it wouldn’t require ironing. We are good parents. We aren’t superheroes. We can all do with a shortcut now and again. Here are 10…

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10 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You're Overdue

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10 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You're Overdue by Arlene Copeland 1. This baby is doing this on purpose. Alternatively, when feeling even less rational, I said things like, “This baby hates me”, “He knows what it’s like out here and he doesn’t want to come out” and the ultimate in feeling-sorry-for-myself, “If I had me as a mum I wouldn’t come out either!”. It can be hard not to get resentful when you get so pregnant that you feel like baby is staying in on purpose. 2. Could I get away with attacking the next…

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10 Things I'm Too Tired For As A Tired, Tired, Mum!

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10 Things I'm Too Tired For As A Tired, Tired, Mum! 
I am a tired Mum. Not just “let’s chill out on the sofa” tired. I’m talking fall asleep in the shower, keep one eye closed at all times, forget-where-I-am tired. Given half a chance, I fall into the deepest sleep imaginable, and yet one sniffle or snuffle from my baby and I somehow regenerate and manage another 12 hour stint of wobbling through the day. As a result, I am grouchy, confused, easily distracted and weepy… it’s a bit like being a toddler again, except…

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5 Things It's Almost Impossible To Do When You Have A Toddler!

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5 Things It's Almost Impossible To Do When You Have A Toddler! Toddlers can make life a lot of fun, but they certainly don't make it easier to get things done. If you have a toddler, chances are that doing things take longer, everything gets stickier and everyday activities make you more tired than you would have believed possible. Try the following challenges and see how your toddler experience weighs up; 1. Pee on your own The challenge – go to the bathroom on your own, lock the door and take your time (you know, like you…

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The Parents’ Guide to… Competitive Parenting!

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The Parents’ Guide to… Competitive Parenting! by Arlene Copeland If you are pregnant, or have children already, it is never too late to get into competition with the parents around you. To truly succeed, here is a handy guide to excessively competitive parenting. This is ideal if you feel insecure about your parenting ability and are not interested in having any friends. p.s. We all know competitive parents, this guide is intended to give you something to laugh about next time you come up against their…

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8 things they don’t tell you about weaning your child

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8 things they don’t tell you about weaning your child by Arlene Copeland Are you weaning, or planning to wean soon? Sometimes it's best not to know everything in advance  Bibs are just another challenge Covering a weaning child is impossible. Even if you put them in a full wetsuit, they will still find the opportunity to cover the one remaining spot that is still accessible. It might be an eye, a stray strand of hair… or if you wrap them really effectively they may have to resort to plastering the family pet. You may…

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How to Train Your Parents - 5 Tips for the Very Young

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How to Train Your Parents - 5 Tips for the Very Young Look adorable This is all about tugging at the heartstrings. The best way to look adorable is to simply be yourself. You are gorgeous; just show off those big twinkly eyes, a gummy little smile and a giggle that could melt the heart of the toughest cynic. Harness the power of your cuteness and you will have them eating out of the palm of your little hands… speaking of which, use those little hands to show off your new-found clapping skills and you’re sure to win…

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16 Reasons I Think Babies Are Easier Than Toddlers

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16 Reasons I Think Babies Are Easier Than Toddlers When we bring our little bundles of joy home for the first time it can be a little bit scary. For a while, there are many things we aren't entirely sure how to do. Looking after a baby now suddenly seems like the hardest task ever. But really, this is the easy part and here are some reasons why I think so... 1. Babies sleep a lot - caring for a newborn is pretty basic....they eat, they sleep and they poo! 2. You know where they are all the time - They don't try to…

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8 Things Your Toddler Doesn’t Want You to Know

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8 Things Your Toddler Doesn’t Want You to Know  They’re adorable, toddlers; so sweet and lovable, with a smile that can melt your heart. Just watching them grow and learn every day is a joy. However, they can also be sneaky little rascals with an ulterior motive behind every gummy smile and a secret agenda that we poor oblivious parents can only guess at. Don’t let them fool you, here are a few things your toddler doesn’t want you know… There’s toast in the DVD player Development experts tell us that there are…

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5 Mistakes you Only Make Once as a New Parent!

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5 Mistakes you Only Make Once as a New Parent! 
As a new parent, you will make mistakes. It is inevitable. Luckily, most of these mistakes will leave a profound impact on you that will ensure you only do them once (or twice… ok, three times if sleep deprived). Whatever the mistake, however much it may seem like a sign of madness or proof of your inability to cope, it is extremely unlikely that you are the first parent to make this particular error. So, we have compiled a handy list of common parenting…

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15 Pregnancy Halloween Costume Ideas

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15 Pregnancy Halloween Costume IdeasIsn't time flying? We're only a few days away from Halloween so maybe now's the time to start to think about what costumes to wear. You might think that pregnancy can get in the way of a good Halloween outfit, but think again and take a look at some of the below ideas to get your creative side going.   1. Beer Belly   2. Skeleton Clan   3. Zombie Baby   4. Basketball   5. Octopus   6. Pot of Gold   7. Bingo Dabber   8. Family Breakfast   9. Bun In The Oven…

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